KESS PHOTOGRAPHY | You're lucky to be JUST a stay at home mom!

You're lucky to be JUST a stay at home mom!

August 11, 2016  •  Leave a Comment



Say what now! Unless you have a nanny, chef, chauffeur, tutor, housekeeper, or counselor (just to name a few) you are never JUST a stay at home mom. I really have had "friends" and family members make comments about me being a stay at home mom, at least so they think I am JUST a stay at home mom. I don't have anyone to perform any of the duties above, I am the nanny, chef, chauffeur, tutor, housekeeper and counselor (again, just to name a few), on top of I am working diligently to build a business in an over saturated industry where everyone with a camera phone and "nice" camera considers themselves a photographer. 


I've made sacrifice, after sacrifice to be with my children as well as build a business. The nerve for anyone to say I am just a stay at home mom boils my blood. I am not knocking any mom who chooses to be a stay at home mom, as I listed above, a stay at home mom is so much more than just a stay at home mom. It is extremely difficult balancing work life and family life whether you work for someone else or work for yourself. I just don't understand why other mothers tear each other down when all of us are doing the best we can. One child is difficult to raise in today's society, add two or three or more oh boy! All three of my children have very different personalities and I am still to this day trying to figure out the best approach with my oldest who is 15. I am by far not the best mother out there, but I try my best to be a good role model for my children. The lack of support from family and "friends" is the most disappointing. I would be lying if I said I have not been hurt by "friends" and family turning their back on me. It especially sucks because I want the best for my friends and family and really any person I come in contact with that seems like a good person, but I don't get that back in return from most. It seems that more and more people value money and material things more than family. I don't operate like that. I'm not impressed by people who step on or over their friends and family to get to where they need to be. I don't respect it one bit. I digress...


Back to being JUST a stay at home mom...I actually had someone leave a rude comment on my Instagram about the benefits of being a stay at home mom because I posted about almost having my at the time 15 month old almost potty trained. She ended up not being officially potty trained until 18 months and as I mentioned in previous posts I was very lack with potty training and made it fun for my daughter as I did with all three of my children. instead of letting me have that proud mommy moment, she thought it would be best to post a comment on social media about the benefits of being a stay at home mom. Again, I have my own business, but even if I was only a stay at home mom, every mom is different and does things differently. My first child I worked outside of the home, I potty trained her before two, my second child, I potty trained him before two and worked from home for someone else and was in school! Even though, she killed my proud mommy moment, I think I was more upset at the fact that she did not consider that she was taking away from my lil ones accomplishment. That should have been the only focus. It is hard for children to potty train! Now, I do have to be fair and mention that the person did apologize to me via text and removed her comment from social media, BUT the damage was already done. I was already hurt, considering the comment came from someone I would have never thought was even thinking like that about me and what made it sting even more is I've never done anything to her but be supportive of her. That is just one incident, there are many more. The main thing is "friends" and family THINK I don't have to work and make little slick comments I guess thinking that I'm not picking up on their jabs. Actually I do need to work, which is why I work so hard at building my business, but "friends" and family don't support that either for some reason they think I should work for free or at low rates. I guess they don't realize that my business is how I help support my children. When my business is not thriving I have to make a ton of sacrifices, but no one realizes that, because they are too busy assuming and judging and not supporting. For a minute and I do mean a minute, I started to question my work, but it's not that I just had to learn the hard way that family and friends have a hard time supporting you working for yourself. The only people that understand it, is fellow entrepreneurs and small business owners and that is because they have been through it or currently going through it as well. 


I think the funniest thing is (I am being extremely sarcastic, it is not funny to me at all) people think I have more time on my hands, I actually have less. It is and was so much easier working for someone else. I had sick days and paid vacation time, I get a break from the children and have adult interaction and conversations. That is not my reality, I don't have more time because I am a work from home mom I actually have less time and I have yet to take a vacation. 


Before you get ready to slam, judge or assume a stay at home mom has it good or she doesn't work hard etc...think first before you say or write something that may have that person looking at you differently. Think first that the life of a mom is hard and our current society is difficult enough without moms tearing each other down, "hating" or being petty. The next time you may be considering saying or writing something hateful, STOP and think of a compliment instead. The world could use a whole lot more kindness and kind words opposed to the nasty, back biting and hating that is currently going on. 


Peace and Love



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